Putting Yourself Out There, WITHOUT Feeling EXPOSED

One thing I often get asked is how do I get comfortable putting myself out there? And we all have a different version of what putting ourselves out there means it might be a tough conversation where you need to give feedback or to tell someone how you really feel. It might be trying something new. It might be putting yourself on social media. I know that was mine for a really long time. And it might be asking for help. It might be making a request of your partner that you're not really sure what their answer's going to be. And a lot of things get in the way. But the two things that I hear the most that people say that get in the way is- 1) I don't have the time, but what time are we actually saving? Because if we're talking to someone about what is bothering us and not talking to the person that can actually do something about it, we are still spending time.

How much time are we spending in our heads? Thinking about whatever your version is of putting yourself out the there, what would be the outcome if you actually did the thing that you've been thinking about, and it would be the same amount of time, but we allow things like this to take up a lot of space in our heads. And quite frankly, a lot of time. The second thing that I hear is that I don't know how to do it. And to this one, I usually say a very humorous response something along the lines. Really? I'm pretty sure Google has about 1,001 suggestions for you on how to do this and how to do it, you know, the right way. So what really gets in the way of us putting ourselves out there? What we fear most is making ourselves vulnerable. It's an act of vulnerability.

When we say the thing that we've been avoiding, when we finally put ourselves out there on social, when we try something new at our age ages, and we feel like a beginner. I remember the first time I took a dancing class, I was a preteen and that's already a pretty awkward, you know, stage of life. And it was terrifying. I was surrounded by very experienced dancers that I felt had way more rhythm than I could ever have. And my nickname growing up was Grace. And it wasn't because I was so graceful. It was obviously because I was a big klutz. I could trip walking in a straight line on level ground, but it wasn't an option to not go to dance class. My mother said it would be good for building my character turns out she was right, but it was terrifying. I still trip walking in a straight line to this day, but I can dance to a beat.

And so I call that a win. So what actually helps us move forward when we are avoiding the things that make us uncomfortable and putting ourselves out there. So two things, number one is trusting yourself to be okay, independent of the outcomes. And number two is becoming independent of what I like to call w O P T what other people think. The only way we learn to trust ourselves and sit in the discomfort of w O P T is through successful practice. And if we resist the practicing part, because we risk looking like a fool or feeling weak or silly, then we don't ever get to that successful practice. That builds confidence. So if we commit to ourselves and we continue to practice, no matter what we build trust in ourselves, that takes us forward. We don't allow ourselves to not have the conversation because we decided that Wednesday at 2:00 PM, we were going to do it.

We made the meeting, we invited the person we committed. So we show up and do it anyway, even though we're terrified, this happened many, many years ago when I was on vacation with my partner. And we were in a space where financially very successful emotionally and from a life fulfillment, not so much. And when you're on vacation, you have time and space and energy to really think about you know, kind of your life and where you're headed. And we decided on that vacation to both quit our corporate high paying jobs. It was terrifying. And because we had decided, I knew that once we got back into the throws of, you know, day to day and life, as we knew it before we would lose the confidence to quit. And so we made the meetings with our bosses for the second day we got back while we were on vacation.

And so it was done. We committed and it's been quite a journey the last six years, and we're in a much better and more fulfilling place. So that conversation you are avoiding, that class you aren't taking, that video you aren't posting, that thing you're not open for asking for help on take a minute right now and put it on your calendar, decide that you are going to do it. And then do it ask someone to hold you accountable, ask someone to ask you, did you do it? You will build self trust. That will allow you to continue to grow and achieve more. And you will get more comfortable with w O P T and do things anyway. This is a very powerful strategy to reach your highest potential. Please drop into the comments, what you're committed to do this week, committed to not letting time or know how get in the way, and instead working on growing your self trust and ultimately your skills in new areas. I'd love to hear from you and engage and be of service if I can.

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